A Sponsor is someone you meet in 12 Step recovery meetings who will act as a mentor for recovery. He or she will help you work the 12 steps of recovery by providing explanation, guidance and encouragement. A sponsor will also help you as a new member begin to get comfortable in the meetings by explaining the basic recovery concepts, terminology and principles of the program and what happens at meetings.
A sponsor guides us through that programs literature and is a safe person to answer the many questions we have as newcomers. They can help us in the process of self-examination that the Steps require.
A sponsor helps monitor our progress and challenges our behavior when we are potentially putting ourselves in harms way. By way of example, they show us how to live and apply a 12 Step program of recovery.
A sponsor cannot keep us in recovery. They are not responsible for our choices. Through sharing their own experience, strength and hope, they can help guide us to the best choices for us. They are not professionals, just other more experienced members of our fellowship. They should never try to control us or take advantage of us in any way.
When choosing a sponsor, some of the things to look for are; someone who has qualities we aspire toward. They live in the solution rather than in the problem. They are applying the principles of recovery and the 12 steps in their day to day life. They have a sponsor themselves. They are available to give us enough time to work steps and talk about our recovery process. It is also a strong suggestion that your sponsor be the same gender as you, to optimize identification and encourage safe boundaries.
If someone declines your request to sponsor you, don't take it personally, There are many reasons that someone may have to say no. Most often they are over extended with other sponsees or their schedules are to busy to give the necessary time commitment. Just keep trying until you get a yes.
It is good to remember when asking someone to sponsor you that sponsorship is not a one sided relationship. Many newcomers struggle with the idea of becoming a burden or nuisance. It is important to know that there are tremendous gifts in sponsoring someone. It is a fundamental part of 12 step recovery to give back what we have been given. It is often how we get to recognize all we have learned; we therefore not only get to keep it, but to cherish it that much more.
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